


Wednesday, February 6, 2019

by orphan_account



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Lesbian Character, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicide Attempt, Transgender
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-28 21:05:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17794727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The thirteen-year-old girl has been on-and-off FaceTiming a friend. She's wondering if she should call back again considering that a bit after she hung up, she went into her parent's bathroom, stole her dad's bottle of pills labeled "morphine" and took one with a sip of water until the bottle is empty. She hopes they kill her. As she's climbing back up the stairs to her loft bed, she feels herself swaying. She ends up calling her friend back and is overly giggly. After nine, she feels too tired, maybe the pills, and she hangs up. She's walking back down the stairs to take a shower and all of a sudden she's hurling. All over the staircase. She groans. She doesn't feel up to cleaning it, not right now, so she throws a towel over it and grabs a trash can to put on the top stair, just in case. After her shower, she's back and she lays down to sleep. The few times she does wake up, she doesn't even have anything to throw up anymore, really, she's just coughing out pills painfully. When she wakes up, she's back down from the high of the pills and she's wondering what the hell she was thinking.





	Wednesday, February 6, 2019

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Trooks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trooks/gifts).



> This is my first attempt at really writing-writing a story, so please give me constructive criticism and maybe also throw in something you liked? Ahaha! Anyway, this story is just something I've had floating in my head for a bit now and I decided to grab a hold of it and actually write something. Let me know if you want more. If so, I can definitely do a chapter book and if not, I'll keep it short and sweet. 
> 
> This writing is dedicated to an author of some beautiful fanfiction I've read. I deeply admire their work and advise you to check it out, although you'll definitely wanna make sure it's what you're into first. But beside the fanfiction, I've noticed the author responds to almost, if not, all of the comments they get, which is incredible in its own. They post often, so they're clearly dedicated and they're actually finishing the story, something I struggle with. Anyway, my thanks to them for inspiring me to even try and write this in the first place and have the courage to publish it~!

The thirteen-year-old girl has been on-and-off FaceTiming a friend. She's wondering if she should call back again considering that a bit after she hung up, she went into her parent's bathroom, stole her dad's bottle of pills labeled "morphine" and took one with a sip of water until the bottle is empty. She hopes they kill her. As she's climbing back up the stairs to her loft bed, she feels herself swaying. She ends up calling her friend back and is overly giggly. After nine, she feels too tired, maybe the pills, and she hangs up. She's walking back down the stairs to take a shower and all of a sudden she's hurling. All over the staircase. She groans. She doesn't feel up to cleaning it, not right now, so she throws a towel over it and grabs a trash can to put on the top stair, just in case. After her shower, she's back and she lays down to sleep. The few times she does wake up, she doesn't even have anything to throw up anymore, really, she's just coughing out pills painfully.

The next morning, it's time for school, and although she's still recovering she quickly changes. She still struggles a bit to remember how, given her mind is sleepy from the opioids, but she gets it quickly enough and is downstairs in a flash. She swallows her small pill for her 'focusing issues' and grabs a protein bar, although she knows she's not going to eat it. The last night is a blur but she knows it happened. It feels too much like a dream to be real, but it was. It was and she's _almost_ scared she really did try to kill herself.

What's scarier is that she doesn't regret. She won't let that dwell on her too much and instead she'll just be. Because she's alive. 

She arrives at school and feels tired. She's wearing two jackets and it's not even fifteen minutes into class when she throws up, rushing to the trash can behind the table she sits at during science. Her teacher is out of the classroom and misses it, and so does her 'shoulder partner', the girl she was FaceTiming the night before who's name fits her, because she's incredibly faithful to the god of Christian religions. The person across from where the girl who is still alive sits, however, notices and asks when she sits back down, "Did you just throw up..?" He's soft spoken, and his glasses suit him, because he's got that sort of typical nerd personality but still, he's great and shy and caring and all the person he's speaking to can say is a mumbled, sort of chuckling maybe. 

The person to her right says, "Oh, I didn't even notice! Haha!" She chuckles.

The nerd-like one, whose full name is Philip Jamison Dixon, but prefers to be called James, turns to the main character and says in all seriousness, in his gentle and caring tone, "Anna, if you just threw up, you should go to the nurse..."

Anna shakes her head. "I'm fine!" She is, really, until 10 minutes later when the teacher is back in and she doesn't want to rush to the trash can, she holds her sleeve to her mouth and some of her undigested whatever-that-is comes out. Not a lot, nobody knows but her, and if they do know they don't show it.

After a bit, one of her guy friends, Martin Milson, who is aggressive and overly protective of his friends come over to her and asks, "Anna, are you sick again?"

Again, because Anna had a fever a few weeks back and she knew, she took her temperature but she utterly refused to go to the nurse because she didn't want to be at home with her mother. She's genuinely terrified of that woman. 

Anna looks at him and shrugs. "Maybe." She likes that word. It's simple, and hints towards something without actually having to say it.

"You should go the nurse's office."

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not."

"I am!"

"If you're not going to tell Mrs Gordon," Martin looks at her and then his eyes flick to their science teacher, "Then Faith and I will."

"Okay." She doesn't care. She knows they will, that's the type of people they are. She just doesn't care, so she returns to her seat and keeps working. She's working until Mrs Gordon comes over and taps her on the shoulder.

"Will you go down to the nurse's office and check in with her?"

A seemingly short while later, she's out of the nurse's office with no fever and since she didn't vomit, she just 'threw up the protein bar she ate', her _clever_ excuse, she's back in class right in time for the bell to ring.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey. Uh, this is an Author's Note, I guess. Yep. So, I just wrote a short tidbit because I don't wanna lose people attention and I would love to know if anyone would even want me to continue writing this. 
> 
> If not, I'm perfectly content just reading my fanfictions about gay ships and whatnot and I'll just leave this chapter here to exist.
> 
> Pls do leave criticism and also what I've done good, even if it's just naming or something, ahahah!


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